Emotionally upset.

I told my dad about my plans to Tokyo. He said no. Not because of the money (I’m paying for it all myself anyway since it’s my grad trip), not because of the country but because of a very sexist reason which is: no other girls are going with me.

My original plan was to go with Val, literally the most harmless of the male species. He said that Dono and Leoson were interested in going too during the same period so I said sure why not. I can click with those guys – there shouldn’t be any problems personality-wise. Plus 3 guys would be better at “protecting” the girl right? If we’re going by my parents’ logic.

But nope. A well-resounding nope.

Honestly, I feel very upset by this. I’m not usually one that has or display emotions but when something triggers it, I just go on the extreme end. I’m actually trying to stop myself from tearing up as I write this post. Japan’s been my dream for so long – at least 3 years now – and to have the door to go shut in my face is just very hurting. I’m trying very hard to understand my parents’ POV – maybe it’s because I’m the firstborn that they feel more protective – but it’s not working. I can’t see the logic. I don’t know what to do.

To be fair, all is not lost. I am still very insistent that I go on a Grad Trip before I start my working life. I do deserve one. I’ve been studying essentially nonstop for 20 years now. I need a break. Sure, I do take holidays in between them but to have a Grad Trip means so much more than just a trip overseas. It’s commemorating my success as a student and how that phase of my life is over (for now).

I do have some options. Or rather, an option. Amanda has been talking about going to Korea in May and I am quite interested since I do like everything Korean now so it won’t be a complete waste of money. I’m just thinking how much happier I’d be in Japan though. Not to say that Amanda’s bad company. She’s become one of my closest friends in PS. But still. We’ll see how it goes. As they say, when there’s a will, there’s a way.

I just can’t stop thinking about how if my parents are this protective over a trip, how would they ever let me go whenever I start dating and then consequently marrying someone when I’m ready?

Maybe I’ll end up being an old spinster with multiple cats.



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