That time I fell at work.

Yesterday was Deepavali and expectedly a busy day for the coffee shop. I still don’t get why people pay stupid money to eat microwaved food. Admittedly they are rich people but still. Go to a proper restaurant…? Idk.

Anyway, it was busy, I was running around servicing the tables and making sure the dishwasher is stocked etc etc. I was bringing over the clean plates in the basket to their respective places outside when I just slipped and fell with the basket. Thankfully only one mug broke and I was okay with no scratches or broken bones. Just a red patch on my right arm where I fell first and the side of my right thigh feeling a bit numb.

The funny thing was, when I was falling, I just went oops, falling down in my head hahaha. I think it was because I was somehow falling 90 degrees sideways (I never fail to astound myself). I didn’t even shout. Shireen, the full-timer, screamed though haha. But everyone was really nice. Syahindah, the AM, really took care of me and insisted I took a break even though I was fine.

But, yes I’m really fine. My right side is feeling a bit sore and tender but it’ll go away in another day or two.

I really find this incident more funny than painful haha. Silly me.

My calling?

Two weeks ago, I was called in for a written and voice test by SAFRA radio for the English Broadcast Journalist position. Really have to thank my mentor for this great opportunity – she used to work there and she really polished my cover letter and resume to the amazing state that it is today.

The test was in the same building where I took my MINDEF test a couple of months ago. I swear, if my future workplace is not in the Red Hill area, I do not know what to say. I’ve been to countless interviews in the area already haha. Anyway, short anecdote, but being the utter klutz that I am, I actually somehow managed to break my water bottle while it was being scanned along with my handbag in the entrance area. The poor NS boy on duty was speechless just seeing water pouring out on the conveyor belt.

But the test went well! Not to jinx things, but I really felt like it went well. I was given two hours to complete the written section and afterwards a short voice test. The written section was pretty comprehensive – some general knowledge questions to test your grasp on current affairs, what questions would you ask in a hypothetical press conference, coming up with stories from press releases. But because it’s for a radio station, the stories are really short. At most it has to be 3 paragraphs with each paragraph containing not more than 3 lines. And in Arial size 14. It was quite a feat especially with the first story where the press release was 3 pages long. But as challenging as it sounds, while I was doing it, I really felt like this was what I am meant to do. It was such a great experience. And it made me hungry for the position. I’m hoping that this is a good sign.

The voice test was something that I really panicked over when I first received the email. I’ve never done any voice work before so naturally I was nervous. It doesn’t help that my perfectionist streak wanted everything to be well-prepared and perfect. But I got anxious over nothing. It was actually pretty cool being in the recording studio and seeing all the equipment! The sound technician gave me loads of time to rehearse the short script I was given (basically a news bulletin) and I managed to get a “very good” take on the first try! Quotation marks because that is what the technician said hehe.

I left feeling very satisfied with the effort I put in.

Praying that I get called up for the HR interview. They said it would be about two weeks so any day now. If they don’t get back to me by Friday, I’ll give them an email requesting for an update on my application. Pls pray that I do get the interview (and the job). I wasn’t this passionate for the MINDEF job but God, I so am now for this one.

Awake. #recommendationwednesday

Long time no see, Cerebro. Life has been a bit busy these past few days but before I write a post about recent updates, I thought it’s about time I post something for this series.

And surprise, surprise, it’s BTS. More specifically, my ultimate bias in kpop land, Kim Seokjin. Bangtan recently released their second full album ‘WINGS’ and every track is amazing. Does not top HYYH Pt. 2 for me (god, that was a masterpiece) but I love how every track paints a bigger comprehensive picture even though individually they have different styles. All the members have solo tracks too (bless whoever in Big Hit who made this decision)!

Now, when Awake was first teased in Jin’s short trailer, I knew the song would slay me when the full studio version drops. I knew the lyrics were somewhat sad. What I didn’t know was how much it would affect me. I’m talking about how it’s the middle of the night (1 AM SG time) and I’m listening to the whole song for the first time while tearing up. Being a mostly emotionally numb sort of person, this reaction completely took me by surprise. Add on to the fact that there were no lyric videos available yet. Oh god. I talked to Sya about this and she said “well, since music is a universal language, you probably felt sad cos of the instrumental music and the intonation of his voice”. And I 100% agree. Seokjin sounded so sad in the verses but full of hope by the time the chorus hits, I couldn’t help but cry. He has grown so much since their debut days and I know he’s worked so hard and made sacrifices that we, as fans, probably don’t know of, and I’m just so proud seeing or rather hearing him slay that ballad. Apparently, he also wrote the lyrics and composed the song and oh god this man. He’s going to go on doing so many more amazing things.

My favourite lyrics are probably this:

Maybe I, I can never fly

저기 저 꽃잎들처럼
I can’t fly like the flower petals over there

날갤 단 것처럼은 안 돼
Or as though I have wings

Maybe I, I can’t touch the sky

그래도 손 뻗고 싶어
Still, I want to stretch my hand out

달려보고 싶어 조금 더
I want to run, just a bit more

It’s sad that he thinks he’s not as talented as everybody else in the group but he doesn’t let it bother him. He still perseveres and works hard. And I can relate to that feeling so much. I’m not the most talented person in the family or amongst friends. But I shouldn’t let it get in the way of me working hard to achieve my own set of successes. Gah, this song is so inspiring.

This was a rather rambly post, wasn’t it? I would apologise but then again it was the only way I could get my feelings across over how I feel about it. I just love this song to bits.

Dealing with rejection.

A couple days ago I finally got a response from MINDEF. It was a rejection email, unfortunately.

I’ll admit, I did feel dejected and lousy for the rest of my day even though deep down, I knew it wasn’t the perfect fit for me. I couldn’t imagine myself in an office job researching about defence policies. It doesn’t sing true for me. But, it was what I had after sending countless job applications. With the rejection, I felt like I had no worth. Which I know isn’t true. But just at the moment, I felt like such an incompetent human being.

I think I made the mistake of linking my self-worth with my job (or job applications) when in fact, I am not just that. I have my family, I have a roof over my head, I have my dear friends, and I have God and my faith. I am very blessed. We are not just some one-dimensional beings where only one thing defines us. We are complex creatures and we should embrace that.

Going out with my friends the next few days did loads to improve my mood. Also, very thankful to all those who comforted me when I reached out to them. I know things will take their time. It’s the waiting that slowly kills me. But I guess this is a test in itself – life teaching me to take things slow (when all this while, my education journey has solely stick to the Express lane) and appreciate what I have.

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I took this the other day, on my way home from watching Miss Peregrine’s on the bus. Lately, the sky has been my stress-reliever. Just looking at the huge expanse of it reminds me how small we are and how are troubles are even smaller. Looking at the sky gives me courage to find solutions to my problems. It gives me strength to get through another day. Masyaallah, seriously. I felt so blessed at that moment I couldn’t help but take a photograph (even though it partly showed a traffic jam) to remember it.

I am actively applying for jobs again – this time, more aggressively to the private sector and I’m hoping to hear something soon. My mentor (bless her) is also helping me out by sending my CV around to her old colleagues that are still in the workforce. I met her for lunch a day after my MINDEF rejection when she made this offer, and I just couldn’t help but think that this was all fate. God’s way of consoling and telling me that when one door closes, another one opens. Subhanallah.

Slightly heavy post, this one. I’ll ease up in my subsequent posts but I just needed an outlet today to write down all my concerns and troubles.

Thanks for hearing me out. I really do appreciate it.