I think it’s finally safe to say that I am 75% recovered from my bout of the flu virus. The past week has been horrible – between tolerating high fever, hacking cough, and still carrying on with work when I can – I was more than happy when Friday ended and the weekend began.

I’m pretty happy where I am now too. Things at work are looking up (no more office politics / petty games yay) and things might be looking up elsewhere too hahaha.

I bought a ticket for EXO’s Elyxion concert in March this weekend too! Wallet is crying but heart is wholly happy and eagerly anticipating it. I can finally see Chen live and witness his heavenly vocals.

I’ve also been deliberating on working on my writing more this year and not sure where to start. Should I just set up another blog where I can just write freely whenever the inspiration hits me (not like a journal, but like a creative writing outlet)? Or should I keep it to myself for the moment and just pen it down in a notebook. I’ve been feeling inspired by @_mumblebee on insta and thinking maybe I should start with a short story or a poem (even though I have completely no experience in the latter).

All these what-ifs are annoying. I should just go and do it, right?



Been a while since I last posted! Nothing much has changed – except that now I’ve been tasked to give an extremely high level presentation in a month. Of course, I am internally freaked out. I think I was noticeably freaked out when my director told me about it lol. He kept asking if I was fine afterwards. Definitely not my finest moment.

But, now that I had time to comprehend it, I think I am coming around to it. I wanted to make this year a year where I try new things and well, I’m gonna achieve that with this presentation lol. Doesn’t mean that the anxiety has gone away though. It is still there every time I think about it.

I’m gonna look at it with a positive lens though. Even though public speaking is not my forte, I will take it in stride and still do my best on it. Wish me luck. I will need every ounce of it hurhur.

D-7 to Korea 🇰🇷

Wheee. It’s finally upon me! The trip that I feel I’ve spent years looking forward to (although I haven’t spent much planning for it; I’ll get on that by the end of the weekend) 

Also, hi that’s one of my favourite Youtubers right now that DM-ed me! Despite my introverted self, I made the move to approach her first on her tumblr, then Insta (since it’s easier to talk there) and looks like I’ll be meeting her during the trip as well!! Really looking forward to it cos she seems to be so similar to me and I hope we’ll have a good time meeting up over lunch. Praying that it won’t be an awkward interaction lol. 

Anyway yes I know I need to catch up loads on this blog and I will in due time! I’ll try my best to update before my trip so that leaves me with little time haha. 

Hope you guys are having a good weekend! 🙂 

Feeling annoyed. 

Okay I just need to rant for a while. I was on TO earlier today but it really didn’t felt like it. Granted, I knew I needed to catch up on some work (cos I’m in charge of 3 upcoming dialogues with all big POHs) but oh my god I wasn’t prepared. 

And the main reason lies with my boss. Who technically isn’t my boss anymore cos she has posted out but in this one month where she is covering both positions she has been even more annoying. I’m not kidding she calls me like 4 times today and one of the time I was in the shower!! And most of the calls were trivial ie. I could have settled them tmr there was no rush for it. Gah. 

It’s not like I take TO for nothing. I had to send my grandma to her specialist appointment cos no one else was available to do so. I hate feeling stressed when I’m out with my grandma. It’s a totally sucky feeling. I ended up making work texts and emails while at the same time trying to understand the doctor at the appointment. 

I know I should be overall thankful that I have a job now, especially since it took me so long after graduation to find one. And for the most part, I am. I now have many more opportunities ahead of me. But I just need this one day to vent it all out and release all my work stress. Gahhhhhhh. 

I’ll feel better in the morning.

Catching Up.

Work is dwindling down a little bit (though the OICs for each flagship event is already decided – and I’m one of the OICs for Budget 2018 cries) so here I am with a catch up post. Really glad I got through the NDR period healthily though a bit tired but that will be remedied soon cos I’ve taken two days TO – last Friday and upcoming Monday. I can already feel my body thanking me. I feel more energised to go back to work on Tuesday even just after two nights of good sleep. And my sleep has been good cos I am dreaming / can remember my dresms again yay.

Anyway since I’ve last written, I’ve went for my first course! The course – Fundamentals of Good Writing – was pretty basic but pretty great cos it covered all the little things that I thought I knew but actually didn’t. Like I didn’t know what a transitive verb was and how it impacted my writing. The instructor was really great and detailed too but I feared for him every time he walked around the class cos he was pretty old so he isn’t as surefooted when he walked anymore. He said I need to be more confident in my work and he’s not sure why I always sound so uncertain of myself when I had to answer questions in class or put up my work for evaluation. Internally I was like what’s new cries but I know this is a problem I’ve been having for a while. How do you boost confidence though??? I’m always so anxious that I’d screw up or that everyone will think I’m simple-minded when they read my writing. But hearing his words did motivate me some to take pride in my work and my words. It’s an ongoing hike to the top of Mt Confidence, I guess.

Sidetrack: I’ve been thinking of taking up a Creative Writing course when I get my SkillsFuture credit next year. One of my ROs is currently taking one and I’m pretty surprised cos he doesn’t seem like the kind to take such courses but I guess it shows not to judge a book by its cover. I’ve just been fascinated with reading and writing pretty much my whole life but I don’t have anything to show for it – except for a very extensive Goodreads account – and I think it’s time to correct that. I need to go for a basic / beginner’s course first though to show me the ropes and develop my ideas.

I also met up with the NOSEDIGGAS crew aka JC peeps! I don’t really know how we got together in JC or how we coined that name for ourselves but I was very happy to know that even though it’s been 2 years since we last met up, our dynamics are still there and conversation (and laughs) still flowed easy with us. Some people you don’t have to check in every day but you know you’re still there for one another. I love that. I really do. 

In purchases that have made my wallet cry but my heart singing, I bought an iPad and a new Captain America shirt! Both at drastically different price points (thanks Buzzfeed for making that phrase a thing) but equally making me happy! I’m actually typing this up on the iPad haha still need to get used to the keyboard but I’ll get there. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been wanting an iPad for the longest time so I’m happy to finally get my hands on it. Look how pretty it issss (Yep that is Seokjinnie as my home screen hehe)

I’m also in the midst of planning my Korea trip. Aside from confirming flights and accommodation I’ve done little to no planning. I do know roughly which spots I want to see but as a person who works well with detailed plans, I need a day-to-day itinerary. Also been searching up what are the appropriate clothes to wear cos I haven’t experience Autumn or been to Korea before. Thankfully my favourite Youtuber Cari Cakes just uploaded a Fall Lookbook! I immediately commented on her video and she replied me back! 

She’s so niceeeee. She does 1 to 1 meet ups  as well based off her Tumblr and I’m hoping to sit down for a tea with her when I’m over there! Aishah says she’s as quirky and weird as me lol and since I find her to have so many things in common with me, I guess that is true. 

Hehe so excited for the end of the year! 2017 has really been my year *cries of joy*

Something to be proud of.

On Tuesday, I was given charge of the first Facebook Live Chat for this period. This is my first Facebook anything so understandably I was very nervous as to how things would flow and whether everything will come together in time. I was the main person staffing Min, doing most of the behind-the-scenes stuff, and the administrator for the actual day (ie. filtering out the questions and selecting which ones to give Min to answer).

Alhamdulillah, it all went very well but it was seriously nerve-wrecking during the actual Live Chat cos it’s a short turnaround between questions and answers.

But I think my most proudest moment from that night was prior to the start of the Live Chat. Min wanted a short briefing and since I was the main OIC, I had to do it. Thankfully, my wits were with me and I actually wasn’t that nervous while speaking to Min, R and A. Thank you brain for helping to focus on the task at hand haha. While doing the briefing, out of the corner of my eye, I could see SD nodding along periodically and I swear at that point in time, I wanted to cry. In my opinion, it’s so hard to get SD’s approval or have him be happy about things in the office. This is in no way saying he’s a bad person. He has high standards, understandably, but he’s still an all-around nice guy. So, seeing him nodding along looking pleased at the things I was saying to Min really meant a lot to me.

I really could have cried on the spot haha but I kept it together.

Good job, me 🙂

2016 – in hindsight.

Hello, this post is 4 days late but we’re gonna overlook that. In my defense, I was working 3 days straight over the New Year’s weekend and went home feeling even more tired than the previous day. But I’ve had a day to recuperate and even though I have a pounding headache now (hopefully the panadol I just took will take effect by the time I finish writing this post), let’s do this.

2016 has been a mixed bag for me. It has its highs and lows but the second half of the year can definitely be described as: stagnant. I haven’t made any credible improvements on the permanent job hunt – but I do have one right now that hopefully will come to fruition.

This list will be in (mostly) chronological order, thanks to my Instagram since that’s where I share most of my life’s memorable moments:

In 2016, I…:

  1. Made hummus for the first time! One of my favourite foods and it’s really simple to make. I should definitely make more of it this year.
  2. Went to Coney Island with #foreverkambengs minus Amira. Got chased by wild monkeys and cycled (really slowly). Didn’t see the Cow though (RIP). But we chilled by the beach and that moment is really vivid in my recollection of that day. I love how our friendship has survived through the years and we’re still very comfortable in each other’s company.
  3. Went on a lot of walks around my neighbourhood by my lonesome. I love discovering hidden gems, especially in streets that I frequent every day.
  4. Bought succulents! Which has subsequently died (cries). I really tried my best to keep them alive and they were so cute in the first few months but I don’t know what happened.
  5. Went to an Istana Open House! Scratch that off my Singaporean bucket list haha. Definitely an experience and the gardens were beautiful but brace for the crowds, guys.
  6. Decorated my room’s walls! There’s now a motivational poster, a Captain America cutout shield, and BTS’ Young Forever poster 🙂
  7. Met Sarah J Maas at a meet and greet when she was in town! Definitely a plus for my bookstagram and it was cool meeting an overseas author. I can now say I’ve read a book of hers haha.
  8. Went to the Sakura exhibition at Gardens by the Bay! One of my best days of the year. I just loveeeee flowers.
  9. Worked for the Singapore Forum. This was definitely a new and enlightening experience being a Liaison Officer for Dr Natalegawa. Made new friends and Dr Marty was a really nice person who made my job so much easier even though things started off bumpy. Also guys, please go to Shangri La hotel just to have a look around. You can get free tea in the bar-ish area and it was delicious haha.
  10. Went to the GoT exhibition when it was in town and took a photo on the Iron Throne. Very, very cool. Even though the exhibition space was smaller than I anticipated.
  11. Made new friends in PS! Honours Year, despite being an academically heavy year, was really good to me cos I made so many more friends that made classes more fun. Special mention to Amanda cos she and I really clicked well but there were also others (eg. Jeraldine, Fabian, Derrick etc.) that made classes memorable. Especially Malaysian Politics lolololol.
  12. Went to #teamcap’s premiere in MBS! SAW SEB AND CHRIS IRL and omg they looked so good. Also played hide-and-seek with the security guards lol. Security was really ridiculous.
  13. Went on my dream grad trip to Tokyo <3. Those five days with Amanda were short but they were the best. I honestly felt so at home and there are few cities I can confidently say that about (London, Edinburgh).
  14. I finally have a Totoro of my own T.T I am so happy. I also have more Totoro-themed things now thanks to me, my family and my friends hehe thank you guys (plush toy, phone case, wallet, socks, 2017 Calendar)
  15. Ate at a lot of ‘hipster cafes’ in Bugis. Most were good but some deserve special mention: the burgers at I Am Cafe are extremely juicy and delicious, the tacos at Afterwit.
  16. Early morning Blogilates in the CBD area with Jacq and Fangy. Sweated it out but it was worth it.
  17. Planned and executed and almost-failed birthday surprise for Jacq at her place haha. This is another highlight of my 2016 hahaha. It was just so hilarious how it all turned out. Thanks to Jacq’s mom for playing along *insert sunglasses emoji*
  18. Raya 2016! Aka the last year I can get duit raya T.T
  19. GRADUATED FROM UNI. In all caps cos not only is this the highlight of 2016 but it’s also one of the highlights of my life. I’m so thankful for all my friends who showed up and showered me with love (and gifts hehe).
  20. NDP show with Val! It was the first time the parade is back in the National Stadium and it was great. We thought our high seats would suck but it actually was better cos we could see the whole show. Indoor fireworks were great but I really wanted to catch the big firework show outside over the Kallang River.
  21. Amira’s graduation! So proud to see my secondary school best friend don on her robes and earned the degree she dreamed of since JC. Also, this was the day she told us she was engaged and getting married in December lol.
  22. Played Pokemon Go. Honestly when it was first available on the App Store I was so excited to catch Charmander as my first pokemon (obviously) but now I’m like…meh. Doesn’t everyone feel the same way about the game?
  23. Ibu’s birthday. The first time I was able to afford buying a birthday cake for her hehe.
  24. JB day trip with Aishah, Amanda and Fifi (who I hadn’t met before). It was cool going around JB searching for the chicken chop restaurant, buying banana bread from a well-known bakery, eating hipster yoghurt and visiting an abandoned theme park in a car that was blasting M Nasir songs lol. We also got stared at by hookers lololol.
  25. Spent Aidiladha with the grandmother at Gardens by the Bay. She’s been wanting to go for so long and we finally had an occasion to go. Also I finally know where I get my love of flowers from haha.
  26. F1 weekend with the dad! Got free tickets to the preshow in a lucky draw and besides getting the opportunity to walk the track, there wasn’t anything much. The live cover band was good though.
  27. Got a part-time job at Coffee Bean. Not the best pay but at least it’s halal-certified – unlike Starbucks who wanted at least a 6 months commitment. Am learning on the job but I’m really more than ready to move on now. Universe, please work with me here.
  28. Zip-lined for the first time! The drop is really something else. I thought I was prepared but gurl I wasn’t haha. Something else off my bucket list though. I’m proud that I gathered my courage to do it. I would have regretted it in the long run if I wussed out.
  29. Went to Singapore Writer’s Festival for the first time! Caught some amazing panels but also got locked out of some due to the crowd and not being early enough. Learnt my lesson and hopefully this won’t happen this year.
  30. Taught myself the Korean alphabet. With all the Korean content I’ve been consuming lately (music, dramas), it was bound to happen. I’m happy that I can read stuff now even though I don’t really understand most of it hahaha. Which brings me to…
  31. Going to Lee Jong Suk’s fanmeeting! First time going to anything Korean related and it did not disappoint. I loved how intimate the whole thing felt and even though this wasn’t a concert, I couldn’t help comparing how different it felt going to a Western gig.
  32. Ate Nasi Ambeng with #foreverkambengs! The last time where all of us are unmarried women. It was just so nice eating from the same big plate with the others and sharing cake later on just talking about how life has been. Some things will never change ❤
  33. Family BBQ. I love the Watercolours executive condominium my grandaunt lives. I would definitely laze by the pool every day and read if I lived there. But yes, the BBQ was fun cos even though it was raining everyone pulled their own weight to make it a successful event.
  34. Went to Melaka for a short retreat with the family! Melaka has really developed a lot in the past 10 years (the last time I visited was during a secondary school trip) and there’s malls there that are comparable to Orchard’s. Tried Bingsu for the first time (thank you Malaysia for having halal food everywhere) and loved it but the other meals I had were meh. Special mention to chicken rice ball though cos that was amazing.
  35. A bridesmaid for Amira’s wedding! I think I was the equivalent of ‘maid-of-honor’? I ended up helping the Mak Andam a lot by holding Amira’s trail of a wedding dress haha. We also helped out with the photobooth props! She was very pretty on that day though. Still can’t believe she’s married but also it lives to our expectations haha since she was always the most mature out of all of us.
  36. Went to the Avengers exhibition with #teamnoblindside minus Fangy plus Sya haha. The best day to celebrate my birthday since I love Marvel a lot and I love how my friends were willing to indulge me ❤

And that’s it! I’ve been blessed to be in great company – family, friends – and I don’t want to sound greedy but it would be great if things work out on the career front too. I know 2017 will work itself out for me (17 is my favourite number) but I can’t wait till I get to that point. I’ll write another post on my New Year’s resolutions too but for now my main goal is to get a permanent job that I love (though I will also realistically settle down in light of this poor economy) so that I can start providing for the family. In shaa Allah, amin.