Feeling annoyed. 

Okay I just need to rant for a while. I was on TO earlier today but it really didn’t felt like it. Granted, I knew I needed to catch up on some work (cos I’m in charge of 3 upcoming dialogues with all big POHs) but oh my god I wasn’t prepared. 

And the main reason lies with my boss. Who technically isn’t my boss anymore cos she has posted out but in this one month where she is covering both positions she has been even more annoying. I’m not kidding she calls me like 4 times today and one of the time I was in the shower!! And most of the calls were trivial ie. I could have settled them tmr there was no rush for it. Gah. 

It’s not like I take TO for nothing. I had to send my grandma to her specialist appointment cos no one else was available to do so. I hate feeling stressed when I’m out with my grandma. It’s a totally sucky feeling. I ended up making work texts and emails while at the same time trying to understand the doctor at the appointment. 

I know I should be overall thankful that I have a job now, especially since it took me so long after graduation to find one. And for the most part, I am. I now have many more opportunities ahead of me. But I just need this one day to vent it all out and release all my work stress. Gahhhhhhh. 

I’ll feel better in the morning.


Catching Up.

Work is dwindling down a little bit (though the OICs for each flagship event is already decided – and I’m one of the OICs for Budget 2018 cries) so here I am with a catch up post. Really glad I got through the NDR period healthily though a bit tired but that will be remedied soon cos I’ve taken two days TO – last Friday and upcoming Monday. I can already feel my body thanking me. I feel more energised to go back to work on Tuesday even just after two nights of good sleep. And my sleep has been good cos I am dreaming / can remember my dresms again yay.

Anyway since I’ve last written, I’ve went for my first course! The course – Fundamentals of Good Writing – was pretty basic but pretty great cos it covered all the little things that I thought I knew but actually didn’t. Like I didn’t know what a transitive verb was and how it impacted my writing. The instructor was really great and detailed too but I feared for him every time he walked around the class cos he was pretty old so he isn’t as surefooted when he walked anymore. He said I need to be more confident in my work and he’s not sure why I always sound so uncertain of myself when I had to answer questions in class or put up my work for evaluation. Internally I was like what’s new cries but I know this is a problem I’ve been having for a while. How do you boost confidence though??? I’m always so anxious that I’d screw up or that everyone will think I’m simple-minded when they read my writing. But hearing his words did motivate me some to take pride in my work and my words. It’s an ongoing hike to the top of Mt Confidence, I guess.

Sidetrack: I’ve been thinking of taking up a Creative Writing course when I get my SkillsFuture credit next year. One of my ROs is currently taking one and I’m pretty surprised cos he doesn’t seem like the kind to take such courses but I guess it shows not to judge a book by its cover. I’ve just been fascinated with reading and writing pretty much my whole life but I don’t have anything to show for it – except for a very extensive Goodreads account – and I think it’s time to correct that. I need to go for a basic / beginner’s course first though to show me the ropes and develop my ideas.

I also met up with the NOSEDIGGAS crew aka JC peeps! I don’t really know how we got together in JC or how we coined that name for ourselves but I was very happy to know that even though it’s been 2 years since we last met up, our dynamics are still there and conversation (and laughs) still flowed easy with us. Some people you don’t have to check in every day but you know you’re still there for one another. I love that. I really do. 

In purchases that have made my wallet cry but my heart singing, I bought an iPad and a new Captain America shirt! Both at drastically different price points (thanks Buzzfeed for making that phrase a thing) but equally making me happy! I’m actually typing this up on the iPad haha still need to get used to the keyboard but I’ll get there. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been wanting an iPad for the longest time so I’m happy to finally get my hands on it. Look how pretty it issss (Yep that is Seokjinnie as my home screen hehe)

I’m also in the midst of planning my Korea trip. Aside from confirming flights and accommodation I’ve done little to no planning. I do know roughly which spots I want to see but as a person who works well with detailed plans, I need a day-to-day itinerary. Also been searching up what are the appropriate clothes to wear cos I haven’t experience Autumn or been to Korea before. Thankfully my favourite Youtuber Cari Cakes just uploaded a Fall Lookbook! I immediately commented on her video and she replied me back! 

She’s so niceeeee. She does 1 to 1 meet ups  as well based off her Tumblr and I’m hoping to sit down for a tea with her when I’m over there! Aishah says she’s as quirky and weird as me lol and since I find her to have so many things in common with me, I guess that is true. 

Hehe so excited for the end of the year! 2017 has really been my year *cries of joy*

Something to be proud of.

On Tuesday, I was given charge of the first Facebook Live Chat for this period. This is my first Facebook anything so understandably I was very nervous as to how things would flow and whether everything will come together in time. I was the main person staffing Min, doing most of the behind-the-scenes stuff, and the administrator for the actual day (ie. filtering out the questions and selecting which ones to give Min to answer).

Alhamdulillah, it all went very well but it was seriously nerve-wrecking during the actual Live Chat cos it’s a short turnaround between questions and answers.

But I think my most proudest moment from that night was prior to the start of the Live Chat. Min wanted a short briefing and since I was the main OIC, I had to do it. Thankfully, my wits were with me and I actually wasn’t that nervous while speaking to Min, R and A. Thank you brain for helping to focus on the task at hand haha. While doing the briefing, out of the corner of my eye, I could see SD nodding along periodically and I swear at that point in time, I wanted to cry. In my opinion, it’s so hard to get SD’s approval or have him be happy about things in the office. This is in no way saying he’s a bad person. He has high standards, understandably, but he’s still an all-around nice guy. So, seeing him nodding along looking pleased at the things I was saying to Min really meant a lot to me.

I really could have cried on the spot haha but I kept it together.

Good job, me 🙂

2016 – in hindsight.

Hello, this post is 4 days late but we’re gonna overlook that. In my defense, I was working 3 days straight over the New Year’s weekend and went home feeling even more tired than the previous day. But I’ve had a day to recuperate and even though I have a pounding headache now (hopefully the panadol I just took will take effect by the time I finish writing this post), let’s do this.

2016 has been a mixed bag for me. It has its highs and lows but the second half of the year can definitely be described as: stagnant. I haven’t made any credible improvements on the permanent job hunt – but I do have one right now that hopefully will come to fruition.

This list will be in (mostly) chronological order, thanks to my Instagram since that’s where I share most of my life’s memorable moments:

In 2016, I…:

  1. Made hummus for the first time! One of my favourite foods and it’s really simple to make. I should definitely make more of it this year.
  2. Went to Coney Island with #foreverkambengs minus Amira. Got chased by wild monkeys and cycled (really slowly). Didn’t see the Cow though (RIP). But we chilled by the beach and that moment is really vivid in my recollection of that day. I love how our friendship has survived through the years and we’re still very comfortable in each other’s company.
  3. Went on a lot of walks around my neighbourhood by my lonesome. I love discovering hidden gems, especially in streets that I frequent every day.
  4. Bought succulents! Which has subsequently died (cries). I really tried my best to keep them alive and they were so cute in the first few months but I don’t know what happened.
  5. Went to an Istana Open House! Scratch that off my Singaporean bucket list haha. Definitely an experience and the gardens were beautiful but brace for the crowds, guys.
  6. Decorated my room’s walls! There’s now a motivational poster, a Captain America cutout shield, and BTS’ Young Forever poster 🙂
  7. Met Sarah J Maas at a meet and greet when she was in town! Definitely a plus for my bookstagram and it was cool meeting an overseas author. I can now say I’ve read a book of hers haha.
  8. Went to the Sakura exhibition at Gardens by the Bay! One of my best days of the year. I just loveeeee flowers.
  9. Worked for the Singapore Forum. This was definitely a new and enlightening experience being a Liaison Officer for Dr Natalegawa. Made new friends and Dr Marty was a really nice person who made my job so much easier even though things started off bumpy. Also guys, please go to Shangri La hotel just to have a look around. You can get free tea in the bar-ish area and it was delicious haha.
  10. Went to the GoT exhibition when it was in town and took a photo on the Iron Throne. Very, very cool. Even though the exhibition space was smaller than I anticipated.
  11. Made new friends in PS! Honours Year, despite being an academically heavy year, was really good to me cos I made so many more friends that made classes more fun. Special mention to Amanda cos she and I really clicked well but there were also others (eg. Jeraldine, Fabian, Derrick etc.) that made classes memorable. Especially Malaysian Politics lolololol.
  12. Went to #teamcap’s premiere in MBS! SAW SEB AND CHRIS IRL and omg they looked so good. Also played hide-and-seek with the security guards lol. Security was really ridiculous.
  13. Went on my dream grad trip to Tokyo <3. Those five days with Amanda were short but they were the best. I honestly felt so at home and there are few cities I can confidently say that about (London, Edinburgh).
  14. I finally have a Totoro of my own T.T I am so happy. I also have more Totoro-themed things now thanks to me, my family and my friends hehe thank you guys (plush toy, phone case, wallet, socks, 2017 Calendar)
  15. Ate at a lot of ‘hipster cafes’ in Bugis. Most were good but some deserve special mention: the burgers at I Am Cafe are extremely juicy and delicious, the tacos at Afterwit.
  16. Early morning Blogilates in the CBD area with Jacq and Fangy. Sweated it out but it was worth it.
  17. Planned and executed and almost-failed birthday surprise for Jacq at her place haha. This is another highlight of my 2016 hahaha. It was just so hilarious how it all turned out. Thanks to Jacq’s mom for playing along *insert sunglasses emoji*
  18. Raya 2016! Aka the last year I can get duit raya T.T
  19. GRADUATED FROM UNI. In all caps cos not only is this the highlight of 2016 but it’s also one of the highlights of my life. I’m so thankful for all my friends who showed up and showered me with love (and gifts hehe).
  20. NDP show with Val! It was the first time the parade is back in the National Stadium and it was great. We thought our high seats would suck but it actually was better cos we could see the whole show. Indoor fireworks were great but I really wanted to catch the big firework show outside over the Kallang River.
  21. Amira’s graduation! So proud to see my secondary school best friend don on her robes and earned the degree she dreamed of since JC. Also, this was the day she told us she was engaged and getting married in December lol.
  22. Played Pokemon Go. Honestly when it was first available on the App Store I was so excited to catch Charmander as my first pokemon (obviously) but now I’m like…meh. Doesn’t everyone feel the same way about the game?
  23. Ibu’s birthday. The first time I was able to afford buying a birthday cake for her hehe.
  24. JB day trip with Aishah, Amanda and Fifi (who I hadn’t met before). It was cool going around JB searching for the chicken chop restaurant, buying banana bread from a well-known bakery, eating hipster yoghurt and visiting an abandoned theme park in a car that was blasting M Nasir songs lol. We also got stared at by hookers lololol.
  25. Spent Aidiladha with the grandmother at Gardens by the Bay. She’s been wanting to go for so long and we finally had an occasion to go. Also I finally know where I get my love of flowers from haha.
  26. F1 weekend with the dad! Got free tickets to the preshow in a lucky draw and besides getting the opportunity to walk the track, there wasn’t anything much. The live cover band was good though.
  27. Got a part-time job at Coffee Bean. Not the best pay but at least it’s halal-certified – unlike Starbucks who wanted at least a 6 months commitment. Am learning on the job but I’m really more than ready to move on now. Universe, please work with me here.
  28. Zip-lined for the first time! The drop is really something else. I thought I was prepared but gurl I wasn’t haha. Something else off my bucket list though. I’m proud that I gathered my courage to do it. I would have regretted it in the long run if I wussed out.
  29. Went to Singapore Writer’s Festival for the first time! Caught some amazing panels but also got locked out of some due to the crowd and not being early enough. Learnt my lesson and hopefully this won’t happen this year.
  30. Taught myself the Korean alphabet. With all the Korean content I’ve been consuming lately (music, dramas), it was bound to happen. I’m happy that I can read stuff now even though I don’t really understand most of it hahaha. Which brings me to…
  31. Going to Lee Jong Suk’s fanmeeting! First time going to anything Korean related and it did not disappoint. I loved how intimate the whole thing felt and even though this wasn’t a concert, I couldn’t help comparing how different it felt going to a Western gig.
  32. Ate Nasi Ambeng with #foreverkambengs! The last time where all of us are unmarried women. It was just so nice eating from the same big plate with the others and sharing cake later on just talking about how life has been. Some things will never change ❤
  33. Family BBQ. I love the Watercolours executive condominium my grandaunt lives. I would definitely laze by the pool every day and read if I lived there. But yes, the BBQ was fun cos even though it was raining everyone pulled their own weight to make it a successful event.
  34. Went to Melaka for a short retreat with the family! Melaka has really developed a lot in the past 10 years (the last time I visited was during a secondary school trip) and there’s malls there that are comparable to Orchard’s. Tried Bingsu for the first time (thank you Malaysia for having halal food everywhere) and loved it but the other meals I had were meh. Special mention to chicken rice ball though cos that was amazing.
  35. A bridesmaid for Amira’s wedding! I think I was the equivalent of ‘maid-of-honor’? I ended up helping the Mak Andam a lot by holding Amira’s trail of a wedding dress haha. We also helped out with the photobooth props! She was very pretty on that day though. Still can’t believe she’s married but also it lives to our expectations haha since she was always the most mature out of all of us.
  36. Went to the Avengers exhibition with #teamnoblindside minus Fangy plus Sya haha. The best day to celebrate my birthday since I love Marvel a lot and I love how my friends were willing to indulge me ❤

And that’s it! I’ve been blessed to be in great company – family, friends – and I don’t want to sound greedy but it would be great if things work out on the career front too. I know 2017 will work itself out for me (17 is my favourite number) but I can’t wait till I get to that point. I’ll write another post on my New Year’s resolutions too but for now my main goal is to get a permanent job that I love (though I will also realistically settle down in light of this poor economy) so that I can start providing for the family. In shaa Allah, amin.

My babies did it again T.T

Second daesang in a month oh my goodness my boys have really made it big now. And it’s for Artist of the Year, no less, which in my opinion, is the Daesang of Daesangs. I am so proud of them and what they’ve accomplished. I completely lost it when Yoongi couldn’t take it anymore and just openly sobbed. (Also Yoonseok moment when Hobi comforted him – the feels).

I watched this live last night on tvN (thank you Mio) and it was fun texting Sya back and forth while she also watched on her end! I would have done it with Syu too but sadly she was working.

I’m going to also link their 12-minute performance (a really great upgrade from last year’s) here too cos it’s too amazing. That dance battle between Hobi and Jiminie. Fire’s new dance break. TAEJIN TAEJIN TAEJIN.

Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 as well.



Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialise with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis.

– Sophia Dembling, The Introvert’s Way: Living Quiet In a Noisy World

I’ve been feeling like this lately. And it’s not for lack of social interactions. I get plenty of that at home, at work, even at driving school. But I haven’t seen some of my closest friends in close to a month now and I’m feeling it.

It feels awful.

And not to sound ungrateful cos I had plenty of lovely conversations with other friends (see: JB tip) and acquaintances but it’s not the same. And I have been talking to #teamnoblindside online but it’s not the same. I always thought I could survive on my own but how silly and naive of me to think that. Of course I can’t. I need my closest family and friends around me. Take one away….and I end up feeling like this.

I just need to remind myself that everything is alright. Everything will work out. Thank God I’m meeting them end of this week if not I think I’m going to go crazy or lonely or both.

Sorry for the ramble. I just needed to get it all out there.

Personality test.


Succumbed to doing a personality test online after seeing them floating around Facebook. I have to say, this is pretty accurate. I guess I’m really not friendly (case in point: having a Friends Test haha) or emotional which I already suspect for quite some time, even though I cry quite easily at TV shows or movies. It’s real life that’s a bit of a problem for me.

I’m quite happy to see I’m pretty self-reliant though! And my emotional stability is pretty good. Glad to see that I’m a pretty warm person too despite the lack of emotions haha. One thing that surprises me is that my reserve section is pretty low. Although once I think about it, I’m really not reserved around my friends and am able to make small talk when I have to (just that I don’t enjoy it so much).

I know these tests aren’t actually 100% true and that people change throughout their lives but it’s nice seeing some parts of myself being validated by a third party, even if it’s a computer algorithm.

Happy Suga Day!

Today’s the birthday of the sweetest rapper with the sickest lyrics Min Yoongi aka Suga aka Agus D (I just found out that Agus D is basically Suga backwards and I assume the D is for Daegu, his hometown? Lmao.) He’s the same age as me but he has gone on to do so much with his life and reaped so much success. It doesn’t make me feel worthless or like a total piece of crap though. Okay, sometimes it does. But mostly, it’s left me feeling inspired to get a slice of that success and motivate me to work even harder to get it. Seeing the amount of work he and the rest of the members put in to their work and hone their craft is really quite inspiring.

Anyway, in honour of today, I thought I’d put 2 of my favourite Bangtan bombs where Suga personally wrote notes for his fans and organised some gifts for them. Yeah, sure people might say that those gifts are nothing compared to the personal success and wealth he’s gotten from the fans but I don’t think so. You don’t often see celebrities/actors/anyone famous giving back to their fanbase and I’d like to think this was a genuine initiative from Yoongi. Also, Kpop idols don’t often earn much from their work. Suga might earn a bit more than the rest of Bangtan cos of his producing and lyric work but it still isn’t much considering that most of the money goes to the agency, in this case Big Hit. So yeah, it is a pretty big deal that he is doing this. And I am very proud to be his fan. Even my mom is Suga-biased after watching these videos hahaha.

He comes across as such a brusque or tough guy but seriously he’s such a softie, especially for the fans. And also for Kumamon (that video was hilarious).

Them Japan feels.

Lately, my Japanese wanderlust feels have been off the charts. To the point that I’m not paying attention in class but instead searching for cheap flights to Tokyo and looking at possible dates to go (possibly in May before Ramadan starts). I can’t help it. I just want to go to Yoyogi Park, visit the Meiji Shrine, Akibaraha, Shijuku, go to cat cafes and just immerse myself in all the Japan-ness. Not to mention all the authentic food, oh my goodness.

I partly blame this on a short film I’ve recently watched called Garden of Words or Kotonoha no Niwa, directed and edited by the very talented Makoto Shinkai. He also did 5 Centimetres per Second which is another movie that made me tear up. He just has this way with his work where although the material isn’t very fast-paced, it makes you feel all the feels. Anyway, why I blame Garden of Words is cos the animation was really very beautiful and it’s inspired by a real park in Tokyo called the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden. I’d really like to visit that one day.

I’m currently in the midst of persuading the mother to come along with me for a week after I officially end school so wish me luck! I’m willing to pay for everything so she should just come along right hahaha.

To stave off these Japan feels, I always come back to this Dan and Phil video. It’s the perfect Tokyo adventure for me and I can’t wait to experience it for myself!

The most beautiful moment in life.

People by now probably now I’m a big BTS fan. I pretty much spent my entire afternoon (amidst all the room improvement + cleaning but I’ll get to that in another post) watching their latest concert DVD on Youtube. Aptly named Hwa Yeon Yeong Hwa which means The Most Beautiful Moment in Life.

I find Rap Mon’s speech the most motivating part of the video (skip to 11:32!). Basically what he’s saying is that the most beautiful moment shouldn’t just be a moment or moments in our life. It should be our whole life. We should strive to live the fullest life and not to forget to have fun along the way as we try and challenge ourselves from time to time.

Now, I’m not sure if I’m biased because I’m a fan but I really find that quite powerful and compelling. So compelling in fact that I am doing readings, even though I said to myself I could take it easy today since it’s a Sunday. But since every moment in life is beautiful, we should strive to make full use of it, no?