Commence the anxiety.

Second consecutive post about work, oops. But I have to let the anxiety out on some platform lol.

This is because….I’ve finally been scheduled for a written test and an interview for an officer scheme I’ve been wanting for some time. All my colleagues say it’s doable and I shouldn’t stress about it but I can’t help it. Anxiety runs through my blood hahahaha. I know that in hindsight, I’ll see myself as being silly and getting worked up over nothing but I’m not living in the future. I’m living in right now and right now, I haven’t gone through the test. I don’t know the level of difficulty, I don’t know if the interview panel will be nice to me, and I don’t know if I will not fumble and screw it up.

I guess all I can do now is prepare. The written test is in less than 24 hours (offsite; and I’ll be given 12 hours to submit it). Wish me luck.

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TKS.

Now that the hype over last week’s event is over, I feel like it’s finally safe for me to talk about it here. Lately, I’ve been a bit obsessed with getting all my social media on private (cos I finally decided to cut some toxic friendships) but I haven’t figured out how to do it on here so ehhhhh.

Anyway, yes, last week was crazy. We worked 12 hour shifts for 5 days straight and it was completely exhausting. Add on to the fact that it was the last week of Ramadan and we worked straight through the normal 5 day workweek before that (no weekends for us), it was no wonder that a lot of us fell ill during/after it ended.

I played a very minuscule role in the whole thing but it was really interesting to see media from all over the world pouring into our tiny island to cover the historic event. Also, the really cute Korean/Japanese reporters made the long days more worth it hahaha.

I also got interviewed by various media about how we managed to set up everything in such a short amount of time, and gurl I was so shy hahahaha. Hopefully I gave a coherent enough of an answer for them lol.

And now, I’m looking forward to settling back into office with a normal amount of workload. The event was great and all but I need my routine back.

Taking stock.

So a few weeks ago, my ex-Director gave us each farewell gifts. Everyone got a postcard and a small token of appreciation. Mine turned out to be pretty earrings. My card was a ‘I feel such gratitude for your ________’ and on it she wrote ‘dedication’. Idk why but ‘dedication’, ‘tenacious’, ‘perseverance’ and its various synonyms have appeared a lot in my life – especially in school testimonies from teachers. Am I really such a person hahaha cos I don’t think I am particularly so.

She also gave the young officers (including me) a small pep talk before she (finally) vacated her office. Okay, that sentence might sound a bit mean but I have no malice or ill intention behind it. She just really took her time to vacate her office, pushing it till the last moment before the new Director came in.

Anyway, she comes from a well-meaning place, so I can’t really fault her for that. She also gave me some pretty good advice and suggested several routes my career could take in the future. Some of which I have been considering already (despite my short term in Adulthood haha). I have been thinking of switching to the IO scheme and exploring the possibility of a more research-based posting just to see how well I would do in it. IO because, the other officers on the scheme seem to be doing well and I think I can be as good as them, given the chance. Research because well that was basically what my 4 years in uni prepared me for and I want to see how I can challenge myself further in that area.

I still need to talk to HR about it cos technically I haven’t been emplaced yet haha. We’ll see how it goes.

Random sidenote, I’ve made a new blog! #recommendationwednesday wasn’t really working on here cos I felt like it was too cluttered and unorganised so I’ve created List of Current Obsessions! It’s basically reviews of music, film, tv, books etc that I like or made me feel something. I’m really having a lot of fun on it so it would be really cool if you guys check it out πŸ™‚

A lift encounter.Β 

I had my most embarrassing work conversation to date on Friday, just after I knocked off work. 

I ended up being in the same lift with a POH (let’s call him S; to throw anyone working for the G off lol) and he started some small talk on our way down. This is nice of him I guess since he’s a very busy person, he could have easily kept the silence like I usually do in such lift journeys. 

But he asked me 3 times in that short span of time whether I’m really working here. I mean, 3 times. And each time, I’m like yeah I do, I really do. Funny thing is, he’s going to be one of the GOHs for an event that I’m in charge of this coming weekend 🌚. I brought that up and he’s like yeah yeah I saw that on my calendar. I think he was a bit embarrassed after that haha. 

Am I really that young-looking 😭 I mean it was Casual Friday so I was just wearing a dress and my leggings and my backpack so I guess I didn’t really look professional but stillllll. 

I didn’t expect this to be one of the woes of being a working adult but look where we are now. 

How work has been.

 

Work has been a whirlwind at times and a more palatable pace at others. I’ve been mostly busy on weekends spent on outreach events, especially during the post-Budget period. But I also realise that I need to pace myself better so that I don’t burn myself out. I figured this out in my first week when I realised I was finishing work way faster than the others and I wondered why (is it another stereotype of the government being slow). In fact, it turned out that it was because work never ends haha. And also because they were easing me into work life cos I find myself deeply immersed in work now. Not drowning but floating.

I think work is way less stressful than being a student. I still needed to study when lessons were over, assignments to catch up on. But so far, I haven’t brought any work home (except for those weekend outreach events but even so they end there and then). Partly, it’s because I don’t bring my govt-issued laptop home (since I can’t access it out of the office) so I don’t get any work emails once I leave the office.

I’m also making friends at work! I was typically shy during the first week but I think my sense of humour/me teasing people is already starting to show haha. Even my boss was like “wah this girl ah haha”. I hope I’m not teasing to the point that I’m hurting people’s feelings though.

Office politics is a complete new thing to me. There were signs of it when I worked at CBTL but this is a whole different league. People can get gossipy while others can get snippy over the smallest things. I have to carefully traipse my way around certain individuals. It’s all a learning curve.

A few days ago, I dreamt that I was with Syu (I think we were in Jakarta for BTS???) but I was already married and got the permanent job hahaha.

Which sidenote: I unofficially got offered a permanent job yesterday! πŸ˜€

It was rather nerve-wrecking cos the Big Boss called me into his office yesterday morning, pretty much right after I came into office. I mean, talk about a way to wake up in the morning without caffeine. He asked me how I am doing at work, and what my goals are. Too early to deal with this. I somehow managed a coherent answer that looked like it impressed him and he drew up a huge mindmap to visualise my next 3-5 years.

Anyway, it’s all on unofficial terms now since I still need to submit applications (just done it!) and go for an interview. But it’s pretty much a done deal since they want me to stay and I am more than happy for the foreseeable future to stay with them.

I just feel happy and satisfied that my life post-school has more structure now. I am a being that needs schedules and routines to survive. I can’t live without things planned out. So, knowing that my future (for the next 3-5 years) is more or less settled,Β gives me pure bliss.

Also: I might extend my JKT trip next month (if I do get tickets for the concert – IME Asia please at least release the seating plan and prices soon) since technically I will be done with my temp contract. I’m not sure yet when I would start as a permanent staff since I haven’t even got an interview date, but I sure would like a bit of a break before I really start working full-time πŸ™‚

2 week flurry.

Hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? The main update with me is that I’ve started my new temp job! It’s certainly been a learning curve but I am hopefully adapting well – maybe too well, according to A (the person I directly report to), she was astonished at how fast I work haha maybe I should pace myself. I now know how to update the website which is very cool haha. Unexpectedly, I also need to do some Malay to English translations at work so I’m thankful that my Malay has not rusted over the years. Definitely took a while to get the gears running again but it’s a well-oiled machine now. I’ve also worked some outreach events! I think they’re the most interesting part of the job cos I meet Singaporeans from all walks of life and see how government policies really affect them. Certainly eye-opening.

I went back to Temb last Friday too for the Alumni CNY dinner! It was really nice to see familiar faces again and I always feel at home whenever I’m there. Also talked a bit to Jon Heng! It really is wonderful when you have effortless conversations – especially when I think about how I was so shy during that first Temb camp and Jon was one of my OGLs. I still have the set of nice letters that everyone wrote for me at the end of camp. Everyone said I was “too quiet but still friendly” lol. I’d like to think I have changed a bit since those times and am more open to strangers now.

I also met my mentor last Tuesday for lunch at the National Gallery. Another place I need to add on my To Visit list. We talked about my new job and I am just so thankful that she hooked me up with this opportunity. I mean I did have to ace the interview but she did put in a good word for me that helped me get the interview in the first place.

Another thing that I just started is volunteering my Mondays after work at my local Meet-the-People session. I’ve always wanted to give back to society after all they’ve done for me and I think my new job + this MPS session are good steps towards that goal. It is certainly interesting. I’ve attended one session so far so I’ve only observed how they do the petition writing report. There was one point where a lady almost broke into tears telling how she needed financial help to cope with all her personal problems. I just wanted to give her a hug but it wasn’t appropriate in that setting :/

The last thing I’ve done so far is that I went to Park Bo Gum’s fanmeeting last night! That deserves a post of its own cos I need to share the wonderful photos but I just have to say that he is the nicest celebrity I’ve ever met. So sincere, so kind, and very down-to-earth. He’s made it to the top of my K-Actors list (sharing a spot with Kang Ha Neul hehe). The next 2 weeks are going to be super busy with post-Budget stuff/outreach events but I’ll make time to write that post, sometime in the next week!

I hope the week ahead will treat all of you well πŸ™‚